I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize