I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
