Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
