Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
