i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
