I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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