Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
