no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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