Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize