What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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