If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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