omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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