I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
