I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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