I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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