Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
