you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
