No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
