So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
