i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Never joke about your clitoris.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
