i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
