Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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