I want to stick my p in your. b.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
