Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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