if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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