you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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