so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
