just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
