grandma shit on top of the toilet
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
