my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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