I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
