Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
