dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
