have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
