lets start a swedish sibling band together
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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