white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
