Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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