I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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