When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
