Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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