his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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