Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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