At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
