Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
