I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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