Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
