He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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