FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
