i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
