saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
