I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
