i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This is the high leading the old right now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
