Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
